Thinking about doing a PhD? You think you are really smart? Think that getting a PhD will help your career? Think again.

PhD: Publication doesn’t lead to job

Do you have a publication in a ‘good’ journal (science, nature) etc? Obviously you are pretty happy if you do have that. However, your happiness is ‘irrational exuberance’ given that so much effort you have put into it and after so many years that good publication means exactly zero. No one really want to hire you as they don’t understand the relevance of your particular thesis to their area and honestly you look bit of a moron to chase an esoteric subject for so long and now looking for a career in an irrelevant field. Reality doesn’t sink in easily as some PhDs’ end up doing postdoc… an insanity of gigantic proportions. Not only the postdoc is burying his career coffin in sand, it propagates the bad idea that postdoc is a career path. Yes, the almost invisible, walking dead postdocs will also look for ‘permanent positions’.. given that jobs are non-existent in academia, how is this fool’s hope help anyone?

Professor: Fraud X-mas

Are you getting x-mas holiday wishes from your professor? Trust not, they are wishes from the Fraud professor. All professors, without exception, knows how much time it might take for your PhD degree completion, yet, did they EVER tell you even in passing that it will take six years?
No, they did not. This is lying by omission, a dangerous and vile lie and omission, because, it hurts an inexperienced student’s career prospect, tying her with a 7 or 8 years useless degree. By the time you finish, you are unqualified to do any work and don’t have motivation to do any. You can’t retire, you haven’t started your career yet, don’t have any money and in extremely vulnerable shape. Do these Fraud professor care? NO, because he is hooked onto cheap labor for his fancy project which made such loser out of you.. the supposedly smart person wanting to be famous.
Yes, life is that bleak after PhD, there are scores looking for jobs and industry often know what to do with these supposedly smart people and academia clearly wants to abuse them, academia doesn’t have any job to begin with. One might open up in next ten years if you could bang your head on the wall. Have a merry X-mas or happy holidays if you prefer.

PhD: Imaginary success

Success often is according to one’s own standard; and it is often career. Vast majority PhDs presumably wanted to succeed in academia (assistant professor) or as professional scientists in laboratories: none of these are true for more than 80% or so PhDs. Bitter PhDs crash down from their imaginary and low-paid ivory tower to take any job they could get. Being behind for about 7-8 years in a career that you possibly didn’t want, is devastating for all. This abject failure of graduate schools don’t shock the academic community because their business model is to attract low paid slaves so they can justify their own jobs. There is some evidence that some high school graduates have gotten the message.

For PhD graduates, it’s too late with 50% getting into postdoc. After imaginary success, real failure set in.

PhD: Your career billion miles away

Philae the comet lander is on distant comet…after a 10 year journey. Looking at the clapping and enthusiam at that historic landing announcement, it must have taken many PhDs doing small work (and criticized by fossil supervisors that thesis work aren’t good enough to warrant a PhD), here we are: many PhDs are our looking for work. It kind of feels like your career is stuck just like the comet lander is stuck in that frozen hell somewhere in the solar system.

You gave a damn about science. Nobody gave a damn about you or your career..surprise!

PhD: Voluntary indecision

PhD often feels like never ending limbo, especially after 2/3 years into the program. Science/engineering PhD entrants aren’t stupid in traditional sense, yet wander around the school pondering useless garbage research. Could have gotten out, should have gotten out but didn’t get out….sigh! When it comes to killing your career, PhDs do it best. You thought you were doing a good thing for “knowledge for humanity”.. Where did you get this garbage to fill up your head?? From professors, who has gotten license to talk nonsense. Talking about YOUR career is so unfashionable in graduate school, you don’t talk about it, while you SHOULD talk ONLY about your career. Is anyone looking up for your best interest? It’s either you or a non-existent person. Voluntary indecision will cost your time and eventually your career.

PhD: life altering experience

Yes. Your life gets ‘altered’ after doing a PhD. You don’t know what is even you are looking for in a career. Another six years of slaving in postdoc? Does a ‘assistant professor’ opportunity opens up in the middle of nowhere? Or you are gonna do ‘adjunct professorship’ for pizza money?
You probably don’t have a spouse because it’s harrowing to watch a dead person (PhD) nagging about opportunity in short life. You live like a ghost, whose existence is often denied, you are probably not even aware that you exist in any meaningful way.

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